i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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