My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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