We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
