is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
