One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
