I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
