Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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