I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
There's always time for handjobs
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
