I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
