There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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