I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
