:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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