I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
