Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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