His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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