stop calling my apartment porn island.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
