Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize