Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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