I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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