I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
