I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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