OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
