you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
