They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
