I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
