So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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