We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
