At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
