I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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