You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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