I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
