I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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