I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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