38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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