i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
