I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
