I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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