i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
