$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
