Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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