do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
