I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
