And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have fence marks all over my body
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
