I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
