YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
