I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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