is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
