The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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