I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
