Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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